Coming out of the tunnel

Well, today did not start out well. I woke up with a migraine, which is not surprising, as they usually like to strike hardest when I let my guard down after a particularly prolonged period of stress and/or lack of sleep.  It just so happens that today is my first true day off in about a month and a half.  I was so excited to sleep in, but amid my very early morning tossing and turning, I could feel the unmistakeable lightning bolt of pain searing through the right side of my head anytime I moved. Great.


I groggily hopped out of bed and made a beeline for the medicine cabinet. I popped a couple Excedrin and flopped back in bed, hoping to fall back asleep and wake up miraculously healed. I spent the next few hours in "twilight" sleep, as I like to call it:  halfway in between full sleep and wakefulness, but fully aware of the giant headache attacking my brain.  Finally I felt well enough to peel myself out of bed and start my day.

Even though I wasn't feeling 100%, I still decided to try to do everything I had planned because, darn it, I've freaking earned a good day.  These last couple months have been frustrating, completely soul sucking, physically and mentally draining, and have seemed to drag on and go by in a flash, all at the same time.  Yes, it's summer season startup time in Skagway and this year it hit me hard.

Between working very long hours, having some unexpected bumps in the road, not seeing my boyfriend much at all, and not having any knitting time, I've been quite the crankypants.  Yesterday, it finally hit me like a ton of bricks:  I had reached my absolute limit.  Fighting back tears, I told my boss that if I had to work today, I would probably rapidly descend into my annual midseason meltdown (and sadly, it's not even midseason yet) and that would not be a good scene.  So, I knew that I just had to not step foot in the Depot for a couple days so that I could hopefully gather up some of the pieces of myself that have scattered everywhere these last couple months.

Recently I was able to spend an afternoon out of the office to take one of our agents on a train ride. It was exactly what I needed that particular day.  I snapped a few shots with my cell phone as we rode up in the cupola, which offers a very unique view of the train journey to the Summit.

Going through my photos on my phone today, I realized how a particular series of photos I took that day really describe my progression over the last couple months from being completely drowning in work to today when I'm finally able to take a breath and do something for myself.

1. In the middle of the tunnel....mostly in darkness, but light in the far distance....this was me from late April to late May.

2.  Getting closer to the light....this was my mental state from late May to early June....

3.  Just about to exit the tunnel and let the light hit my face...this was me earlier this week...so close I could feel it!

4.  And, finally, where I am today. Finally able to take some time for myself and enjoy the view!....At least for a day or two.

 So, I guess what I'm trying to say is:  Sorry I went missing for awhile. This is a knitting blog, after all, and you probably expect a certain amount of actual blogging.  But as of today, I will be taking more time for myself. And more time for my knitting.  I've got lots of really exciting things on the horizon that I'm about two months behind on, so it's time to get cracking!  More to come in the very near future...

What all have you been up to in my absence?  Do tell!